Growing up, we are taught how to care for others and not be selfish. While doing that, sometimes, we find ourselves in a miserable state and feel alone. It’s why it is important to remember to care for yourself before you are able to share your kindness and love with others. Be kind to yourself first and try to make you happy before making other people happy. There is a fine line between self-care and self-sabotage that most of us don’t see. Self-care is possible without being selfish.
What is self-care?
Practising self-care will help you realign your mind, body and spirit. Contrary to popular belief, self-care is not sitting at home, munching pizza and watching your favourite Netflix show. Relaxing and doing the things that you love is not self-care. Self-care is when you take time out to care for your body, mind and soul. Sometimes you are so focused on doing this or that, you forget that your body, mind and soul need your attention too. Speaking on the art of practising self-care, Luke Elijah, a Spiritual and Relationship Wellness Coach, says, “Self-Care and Self-Love go hand in hand. We can only ever give to ourselves and others what we already behold and encompass within us.”
How to practise self-care?
Taking time out to rejuvenate and re-energise by going for a walk around the neighbourhood or going for a drive alone is a great way to practice self-care on yourself. Before rushing to take care of others, ask yourself what makes you happy and do it; do what makes you happy and what gives you joy. When you feel happy, you will naturally feel the energy bursting inside of you. Practising self-care can help you go to bed a happy and satisfied person instead of a miserable human being. According to Elies Hadi, life coach, “Self-care is not an excuse to self-sabotage. The difference lies in the intention. Self-care comes from self-worth. On contrary, self-sabotage often comes from lack of self-worth. When great things happen, the individual did something to sabotage themselves as they don’t believe they deserve it. Self-care such as taking time off then become a convenient excuse to give up on a goal when they are 3 feet away from the gold.”
Self-care is not easy
Caring for oneself does not come easily to many people. Finding the right balance in life that makes you happy is not an easy feat to achieve. Being kind to oneself is not something that a lot of people can do. Even though some people have no trouble practising self-care and extreme kindness to themselves, others can’t bring themselves to do that without the fear of appearing like a selfish person to others. You can take care of you as well as others without sacrificing anything. The key is not to overdo it in a way that it looks like self-sabotage. You need to be patient and take time out from your daily life to practice self-care.
Self-care is not self-sabotage if done carefully
There is a fine line between taking care of oneself and being selfish. There is nothing wrong in taking care of oneself, but it is wrong to be selfish. Being selfish means putting yourself in front of others in a way that you are ready to walk all over them if necessary. You might be apprehensive to indulge in self-care in the fear that you end up being selfish. As soon as you learn and get what it means to practice self-care, you will realise how important it is to pay attention to what your body, mind and soul are telling you.
Self-sabotage is extremely common. It affects almost every individual who has not worked on releasing their blocks, as well as healing their pain, past hurts, traumas, etc. Most people are not even aware of their own blockages as they have repressed and suppressed much of their issues, feelings and emotions. This is very unhealthy and unsustainable in the long run and the issues and problems will only resurface and come back in a viscous loop to haunt you in a bigger way over and over. – Luke Elijah, Spiritual and Relationship Wellness Coach
How not to cross the line?
To not get lost between self-care and self-sabotage, it is important to practice intentional listening. For example, listen to what your body needs instead of what you think it wants. Start by identifying your self-destructive behaviours and from thereon, you will be able to notice the difference between a self-destructive thought and a thought that promotes self-care practice. If something that you have been doing is not benefitting you in any good way, get rid of that habit. Life coach, Elies Hadi, mentions, “A great way to differentiate this is to raise your own consciousness and awareness so you can catch yourself when you’re self sabotaging. One simple way of cultivating this is through meditation.”
A self-care action is beneficial for your body while an action that is detrimental to your health is self-sabotage. By not crossing the line, you make the decision of taking good care of yourself and end up feeling good. Elijah reiterates, “Self awareness and then the sincere willingness to step out of one’s created illusionary comfort zones is the key to stepping out of a self-sabotaging repetitive cycle.”
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