We’ve been told that being a parent isn’t easy, but at the same time we also end up receiving tons of advice from family members, friends and even neighbours in regards to raising our children.
You could say parents are psychologists, if only because every child has a different personality and way of reacting and behaving. But what’s right regardless of the child is that it takes a good education from their parents or guardians to teach them how to act, to control their impulses during the trials they might face in life and to learn to deal with the consequences of their choices. Otherwise, these children will end up having to figure things out on their own, which could leave them lost and confused in the world.
Teach Them What They Can’t Do and Why
This is a process that has to start from a young age. Children have needs – not just biological but emotional as well and parents have to try to become tuned to the moments in which they have to repress those urges to control and teach their children ways to go about the world. If you allow them to skip on chores, eat when they wanted and talk however they wanted before then why they should change now?
To prevent this reaction, you have to educate them from a young age. This will strengthen them and prepare them for a life that is not going to give them what they want.
If not, they could learn things the hard way when they go into the real world or in the worst case scenario, end up going down a path of danger, vice and crime.
Learn When to Scold and Praise Them
Of course, raising a child isn’t easy, but everyone (mums, dads or any other guardians) has to learn when to show children that they’ve done something wrong and when to give them love and care for what they’ve done right.
That being said, you can’t praise your child for every good thing they do, especially if it’s something they should do regardless. Stuff like cleaning their rooms, picking up their toys, eating their vegetables, respecting others, helping their parents or their pets. They have to learn that they’re right in doing that and you should show them your gratitude and approval, but they’re things that everyone should be able to do without expecting a prize or recognition.
We can, however, teach them not to want to be punished. How? By making them think and understand when they’ve done something wrong or have behaved wrongly in their behaviours or intentions. What kind of punishment though? Well, it can be something as simple as taking away things that they like, from toys to foods to not letting them go out when they want to. Physical punishment? Only in situations where the child could’ve caused harm to themselves or someone else, and it shouldn’t be done excessively.
Let Moments Pass and Talk to them
A child shouldn’t be allowed (regardless of age) to lift their hand at a parent or any other person when they are being scolded. At the same time, parents shouldn’t be hitting or mistreating their kids at every moment. That’s what conversations are for, to communicate and help them look over their actions once they’ve calmed down, this is the reason for time-outs, as it’s easier to talk to children once everything’s blown over.
And after that life keeps on going, once things pass they should be left in the past because that’s what life is about, forgiveness, tolerance, patience and love. They’re all consistent mainstays of education.
But at the end of the day is it best to punish or to reward? There will doubtlessly be a moment in every parent’s growth where they’ll have to make a choice and wonder if they’re doing things right.
That’s not something that one can be sure of, but in seeing our children grow and look for our advice and guidance, that they share their moments with us when they need to, both the good and the bad, is the best prize that any parent can get. That leads into the most important thing about raising a child, that when you see your child succeed and accomplish great things you can sit back and watch proudly as you realise that a part of that was because of you.
Children are, after all, proof of the education they have received and as such we have to take care of them as well as possible when scolding them or praising them so that they can always benefit from it and grow into better people.
Photo Credits: Canadian Nanny, Health Enews, Huffington Post